Eavesdropping with Love

What does it look like to love another? Some say it means buying expensive things. Some may say it's treating them like no other. Some may even think it means being strict with that person. I've never really understood that one. While I love spoiling the special people in my life there is something I don't do very well. Listen.

Okay, we all listen to those we really love, right? Maybe not. I picked up a book the other day, one that was very popular a few years ago.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and it's all small stuff byRichard Carlson, PhD.

I opened it midway and read the page about listening to others and it reminded me how important this is. It also made me think of a time I was out with a good friend of mine, Paula. Now Paula is a great friend and I really value our friendship but this time we were out came screaming back to me when I read this passage.

Paula and I were out shopping and having a good time. I was going through a hard time and really needed a friend to listen. While we were out and I was venting my frustration she kept saying "aha" like she was listening. Then all of a sudden she shushed me! She was actually eavesdropping on the mother and daughter next to us and hadn't heard a word of what I was saying! I was hurt and felt a bit upset.

Now everything worked out as Paula has a great way of making me laugh and she ended up making me feel better but I don't think out friendship is as strong as it could be.

So now I am going to try and give the people I love the gift of listening. Not just saying 'aha' but listening to them like I'm eavesdropping on their every word. Not trying to say anything but just really hear what they are feeling and needing. What a great gift.